If you’ve ever flown anywhere, you’ve heard the instructions, “fit your own mask before helping others”. Have you ever stopped to think what that really means, or, if it came to it, whether you would or could put on your mask first?
In a moment of calm and rational thought, we know it makes sense. If we pass out, we’re no good to anyone. The same can be said of a leader, or really anyone committed to the care and responsibility of others.
How often do you find yourself giving so much to others that your wellbeing is adversely impacted? We tell ourselves that it’s our job, our responsibility; there’s guilt attached to taking time and investing in self-care. Yet, the oxygen mask principle applies: if you pass out, how can you continue to help others? At the less extreme end of the spectrum, can you say you are operating at your best? Is it time to step back and weight up the costs and benefits of deprioritising your self-care?
As leaders, we also need to consider the message we are sending to those who follow and look up to us. As the saying goes, “monkey see, monkey do”. Failure to manage overwhelm is an example I see of people not putting on their oxygen mask, often ‘pushing through’ and trying to protect their teams. It isn’t sustainable and your people may feel the pressure to operate at the same level as you.
Stress and anxiety are often contagious (as all emotions can be) and most of us aren’t the great actors we think we are. People know when we’re under pressure…they feel it too.
So, what’s the solution?
Our capacity to navigate stress, anxiety, overwhelm and overload is about putting on the oxygen mask, prioritising self-care, which in turns boosts our resilience. Firstly, dial up your awareness and ask yourself whether you’re giving your best. If the answer is ‘no’, make the choice to act.
There are so many ways we can administer self-care, and the reality is, most of us know what we should or could be doing better. Here are three oxygen mask pillars, each one connected to an emotional intelligence* competency to help us think about our priorities and choices a little differently.
Just some of the impacts from lack of sleep include cognitive impairment, loss of coordination, increased stress and anxiety, and difficulties in managing weight.
Solution: Try to recognise your patterns and what could be negatively impacting the quality and quantity of your sleep. There’s load of advice on sleeping better…less coffee and screen time in the evening, consistent bedtime, dark and quiet room. Choose the right actions for you by pinpointing what impacts you the most.
Not enough time? Not enough energy? We all know the benefits, and most of us know we need to be doing more. We know it can help us sleep better (there’s those patterns), think better, feel better. Exercise, or even some form of movement, lowers our stress levels and has been shown to reduce depression. So what gets in the way?
Ultimately, it’s about priorities. Exercise is an easy one to push down the to-do list, to argue that we’re too tired and that we would benefit more from the extra sleep. Maybe it feels indulgent. Whatever the ‘story’ you tell yourself, it’s time to re-write the script. If you want to operate at your best, and set a good example, what are you prepared to do? How can you align prioritising self-care – putting on the oxygen mask, and your activewear – with what’s important to you? Do you know your core values, and can you leverage those to find your intrinsic motivation?**
Does what you eat energise you, or does it drain you? Have you noticed you feel more tired after you eat certain types of foods? Do you mainline coffee to get through the day? Or do you just feel ‘meh’ a lot of the time?
We might get that moment of comfort from eating the chocolate bar or bucket of hot chips, but how long does the joy really last, and how often do you feel worse afterwards? Our consequential thinking is a powerful tool, and we can use it to connect our actions with how those actions can and will make us feel. Have a clear intent and make choices that will be sustainable. We all know that a complete dietary re-vamp or spontaneous health-kick is not going to last!
It helps to focus on what you do want to eat, rather than what you don’t. Plan ahead, and as with exercise, think about what’s really important to you and why you want to do something that’s going to make you feel and perform better.
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Sleep, exercise and nutrition are all inter-related. Often, positive changes in one area will lead to positive changes in one or both the other areas too. Again, use your awareness and notice what makes you feel better. Celebrate the feeling and use it to create momentum to keep going or do more.
What’s it going to take for YOU to put on the oxygen mask and invest in yourself?
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* Emotions are simply our brains releasing chemicals – a message in response to something happening around us. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is about what we do with that message – being smarter with feelings. Emotions drive people, and people drive performance. It therefore follows that emotions drive performance!
** Hate exercise? Try to think about it differently. Make a time to walk with a friend and think of it as socialising. Walk to the shop instead of driving and think about the positive effect on the environment. You get the idea!